I'm starting a blog. I never thought this day would come, but here we are. I'm not making any promises for how often or how much I'm going to write. For now, the main purpose is to put some thoughts into words about me going to medical school some day. Or not.
Background: I always wanted to go to medical school. Blah, blah, blah. I decided against going mid-way through college, only to decide I wanted to go again a few years after graduating and getting married. Then I decided against going, then I thought I wanted to go, then I started taking classes. Then I had a baby. The baby is almost a year old and I'm about to start back to school in less than a month.
Current: No one can really tell you what it's going to be like for you personally to be a mother. People can tell you what their experience was like and how they changed. You can imagine all day long, but when it finally happens, things change. Being a mother is a lot like what I thought it would be and totally different at the same time. I guess I didn't realize how much I would change. Or how much the baby really would be the center of my universe. Maybe it's because we're still nursing, but my life really does revolve around him.
Future: I'm beginning to see an end to the all-consuming infant stage of my son's life. A future in which I might be able to realize some desires of my own. And I want another baby. I want to do it all over again. Soon. I still think I want to go to medical school... some day. I just wonder if the sacrifice is too much. I love being with my little family and have a hard time seeing myself away from my son as much as would be required to get the medical degree and residency. On the other hand, to sacrifice my life long dream and not become a doctor seems out of the question, too.
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